If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
How does one acquire holy water?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
