I molested 6 butterflies tonight
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
