Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(312): View more from Illinois

You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.

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(805): View more from California

Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters

(303): View more from Colorado

I can be that talented

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(317): View more from Indiana

its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

the problem with open bar is i never know what to get

(781): View more from Massachusetts

did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."

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(443): View more from Maryland

the ceiling is raining jello shotss

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(952): View more from Minnesota

like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex

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(252): View more from North Carolina

MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING

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(630): View more from Illinois

The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good

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