He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
