he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
