The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize