Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
