nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I want her autograph on my taint
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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