Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
