Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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