on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
