So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
