Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
