you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
