My liver just broke up with me...
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
