Your dad touched me again.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
