the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
