im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
