my room smells like sperm. sweet.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
