we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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