i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Blood and glitter go together right?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Randomize
