Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
