She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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