I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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