i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
That accounts for only three of the penises
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
