how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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