JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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