Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize