just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize