I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
