ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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