god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
