i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize