College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
