Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Randomize
