I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
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