Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
My vagina just clenched in fear
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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