I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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