tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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