If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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