they need to just BURY HIM!
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I have surprise drugs for everyone
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
