thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
