Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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