i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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