it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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