yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
