Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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