I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
