He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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