Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Randomize