I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
