It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I just got carded by a ten year old.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
