so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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