also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
just tell him i said nine months
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
i think im in europe. pls send help
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
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