OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
