I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
