Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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