I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
