He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
