help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize