I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
