I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize