sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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