Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
