So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
