They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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