When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
not ubering you a puppy
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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