They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
