whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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