They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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