she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
