You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Why is your signature on my underwear?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize