Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I didn't notice because vodka
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Randomize
