when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
